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To the father of Karen Lo:

Happy Father's day!

What- -is a father?

Webster's Dictionary defines a father as a man who begets or raises or nurtures a child.

You Sir, are a man.

Nay, - -THE MAN.

You have begetted, you have raised, and you have nurtured TWO children.

This makes you some sort of...UBER-Father.

When Moses lead his people from Pharaohs grasp, they repaid Moses and the Lord by forging a golden calf. Sure, technically, they began to sin and worship in the name of that golden idol- -but that's beside the point.

For you, the guru of all fathers, I've forged/purchased a Tin-Elephant-Watering-Can from 'Winners'.


It bares a foamy-latte complexion with just a hint of pink for its ears and the end of its trunk.

I offer you this, oh father of the Karen, this life-giving-tin...elephant.

With it- -you alone hold the power to help plant life get all photosynthesizy.

Fair thee well, oh Glorified-Man-Lo.

I only wish that one day I will be truly as extravagant and 'good-daddy-like' as you so clearly are to have raised such great kids.

That guy dating your first born child:

-JIMMY.

P.S: Your wife's hot.

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