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To the father of Karen Lo:
Happy Father's day!
What- -is a father?
Webster's Dictionary defines a father as a man who begets or raises or nurtures a child.
You Sir, are a man.
Nay, - -THE MAN.
You have begetted, you have raised, and you have nurtured TWO children.
This makes you some sort of...UBER-Father.
When Moses lead his people from Pharaohs grasp, they repaid Moses and the Lord by forging a golden calf. Sure, technically, they began to sin and worship in the name of that golden idol- -but that's beside the point.
For you, the guru of all fathers, I've forged/purchased a Tin-Elephant-Watering-Can from 'Winners'.
It bares a foamy-latte complexion with just a hint of pink for its ears and the end of its trunk.
I offer you this, oh father of the Karen, this life-giving-tin...elephant.
With it- -you alone hold the power to help plant life get all photosynthesizy.
Fair thee well, oh Glorified-Man-Lo.
I only wish that one day I will be truly as extravagant and 'good-daddy-like' as you so clearly are to have raised such great kids.
That guy dating your first born child:
-JIMMY.
P.S: Your wife's hot.
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