"...Star Wars..."
Obi-Wan: But, Master Yoda said I should be mindful of the future....

Qui-Gon: But NOT at the expense of the moment....

Obi-Wan: ....

Qui-Gon: I'm- -I'm sorry, what was that?

Obi-Wan: I- -I didn't say anything.

Qui-Gon: - -Okay, alright, you know what?- -Fuck you.

Obi-Wan: *looks around*....I'm- -I'm sorry?

Qui-Gon: Yeah, you heard me- -FUCK YOU.

Obi-Wan: Master, I- -

Qui-Gon: You, you what?- -Huh?- -Huh Padawan?- -Hey, I got an idea: let's go ahead and listen to a foot tall, 700 year old, balding green guy who can't even fucking speak right. Yeah, that'll fucking help.- -I mean fuck, who's teaching who here?- -Seriously....

Obi-Wan: I- -I ment no disrespect, Master I- -

Qui-Gon: Listen, Obi- -I'm going to call you Obi, alright? I like you- -a lot. You've got a lot of potential and promise. BUT YOU HAVE GOT TO LEARN WHEN TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. Got that? That's like, like the first fucking rule of Jedi-Club. You know?- -Never question the Master.

Obi-Wan: But, Master- -you've- -you've disobeyed the council many times befo- -

Qui-Gon: FUCK!- -WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU, KID?

Obi-Wan: I- -I know- -I- -it's- -it's just tha- -...

Qui-Gon: - -NEVER QUESTION THE MASTER!!! DIDN'T I JUST SAY THAT?!- -FUCK!- -You're, you know what?- -Yeah, you're- -you're too fucking old. Too fucking old to begin training. How do you like them apples?

Obi-Wan: Begin- -training- -I- -Master I've- -I've been training ever since I was a chi- -

Qui-Gon: Ah, ah, ah- -SEE?- -SEE?!- -There you go again, questioning away at the Master and all that shit, you see that?

Obi-Wan: Alright, you know what?- -Just- -just fuck this.- -FUCK THIS.- -I'm outta here.

Qui-Gon: Oh, what, you gonna leave now?- -You gonna quit?

Obi-Wan: *looks at him* Master Qui-Gon, sir, along with sucking my cock, for all I care, you can go ahead and handle this whole trade dispute by yourself!- -*starts to walk away, stops, and turns around* Oh, and P.S- -YOU'RE A FUCKING NUT-BAR!

Qui-Gon: Oh yeah?- -

Obi-Wan: YEAH.

Qui-Gon: You sure?- -

Obi-Wan: Pretty damn fucking sure.

Qui-Gon: Well, that might be a problem cus- -*walks over and puts his arm around obi-wan as he points out at a far away droid* You see that droid over there?

Obi-Wan: ....

Qui-Gon: Guess what he's holding. *smiling*

Obi-Wan: - -Aw, fuck me...

Qui-Gon: Ah?- -Ah?- -*smiling*- -

Obi-Wan: - -*smiling*- -Fucking candid- -...*holding back laughter*

Qui-Gon: Say it! *smiling*- -SAY IT!

Obi-Wan: *laughs*

Qui-Gon: Say it man, say it!

Obi-Wan: *laughing* I'M ON CANDID CAMERA!

*audience applause and laughter*

-End-


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