"...Ninja Turtles..."
Michelangelo: You guys, I've...I've never really been all that depressed in my life but...well...the thing is...we're in our 20's...and...we're mutant turtles...I guess what I'm trying to say is...WHAT'RE WE GONNA FUCK?!

*everyone looks at Michelangelo*

Raphael: ...Kay, I wasn't gonna say anything but- -yeah, late nights with the discovery channel IS getting pretty old.

Donatello: Mikey's got a point...I think it's safe to say making it through our teenage years we owe a lot to Jack Hanna's Wild Kingdom- -but...who're we kidding here? ...We're in our prime...masturbation sucks.

Leonardo: Damn it you guys, we're TRAINED- -IN THE ART- -OF THE NINJA.

Michelangelo: ....

Raphael: ....

Donatello: So I'm thinking a trans-dimensional portal to another plain of existence?

Michelangelo: Sex?

Donatello: ...Yes, Mikey...- -Sex.

Michelangelo: COWABUNGA!

Leonardo: I- -AM- -THE LEADER. Master Splinter would want us to meditate on this.

Raphael: Hey- -we've been meditating on this every night since we were 12.

Michelangelo: WORD.

*Mike and Ralph exchange high-fives*

Donatello: We don't mean any disrespect Leo, it's just that- -COME ON...No seriously, COME ON.

Leonardo: Listen, I KNOW how you guys feel, trust me- -I have NEEDS too.

*everyone laughs*

Leonardo: Fuck you guys!- -The art of Ninjitsu teaches calming of the mind, the body, and discipline. We need not be slaves to our loins- -

Michelangelo: Kay, did he just say 'loins'?

Leonardo: DAMN IT!- -I'M SERIOUS HERE.- -NINJITSU TEACHES THE WAY OF WISDOM, STRENGTH, AND TRANQUILITY- -BOTH PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL!- -DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU GUYS?!

Raphael: Listen Leo, all we're saying is...Wisdom, Strength, Tranquility- -TURTLE-VAGINA.

*Mike & Donnie applaud Raph*

Leonardo: - -THAT DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE.

Michelangelo: I heard Vagina.

Donatello: - -As a scientist, Leo?- -I heard Vagina too.

Leonardo: DAMN IT, I HEARD WHAT HE SAID!

Donatello: But did you COMPREHEND what he said?

Raphael: Did you VISUALIZE it?

Michelangelo: - -I sure as hell did.

*Mike and Donnie exchange high-fives*

Leonardo: You know what?- -Go.- -Go on. Guys go on ahead.- -If you all want to give in to your wants, your desires, if none of you have the self control that Master Splinter has tried to instill into us all since he first found us? GO AHEAD. Build a trans-dimensional gateway to get laid.

Donatello: ....

Raphael: ....

Michelangelo: *turns to Don*...- -can- -can we make it look like a Star-Gate?

Donatello: Niiiice.


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